As loving parents, you excel, but as a loving couple, you have reached the end of the road. Marriages don’t always last forever, however well intentioned those vows were when you first said them to your partner. Relationships end for many reasons, whether this is soul crushing adultery or simply growing apart. The cause of a marriage breakdown can have a massive effect on the fallout. However, one thing that must never become obsolete or forgotten about are your children. You need to keep your offspring at the centre of every decision that you make going forward. Take a look at how you can support your child through a divorce.
Forget Your Feelings
While you may have raw emotions bubbling to the surface, whether this is sadness, anger or desperation, when thinking about your divorce, park this while you help your child come to terms with their parents breaking up. This massive life shift may come as a huge shock to them. One of their parents will no longer be living with them, they may feel alone, and they might not want to hurt your feelings so bottle up their own emotions. You need to make it clear that they can talk to you about whatever they want whenever they want. Yes, it’s a cliche, but you must flood your child with love and tell them that they still have two parents who love them very much, and that it’s not their fault.
How To Deal With An Angry Child
Some children can become angry and full of rage at the thought of their parents divorcing. Teenagers, in particular, can go off the rails a little because their hormones are already leaving them feeling confused when a divorce is thrown into the mix. You must create a stable environment immediately to give your child structure and routine. It is the uncertainty that can leave a child angry. Have a clear timetable of when you and your partner will share parental responsibility. And stick to it.
If your child is withdrawn or angry, consider some child therapy techniques that you can employ. This often revolves around art, talking and allowing your child to dictate their free time with you. If you need to employ the services of a child counsellor, do your research and encourage your child to open up to a stranger. Someone impartial may be who your child needs.
Make sure that you view your divorce through the eyes of your child. They will have many worries such as whether they will see their grandparents as regularly, whether they will be able to have friends over, and whether they will get a new mum or dad. Reassure your child that they are the most important thing throughout this entire process. Make sure they know that none of this is their fault. Never ever use your child as a go-between or pawn in your divorce, no matter how messy it might get. Work with your ex-partner to construct a loving atmosphere in which your child can thrive.
Divorces are always sad, but they can be heartbreaking for children. Follow this guide and ensure that your child receives all of the love, support and reassurance that both of their parents can give them.
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